In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system, please fill out the following questionnaire before sending it in for help. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution.

1. Describe your problem:

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor B. Minor C. Minor D. Trivial

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up B. Frozen C. Hung D. Shot

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes No

7. Is it turned on? Yes No

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No

9. Have you made it worse? Yes

10. Have you read the manual? Yes No

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes No

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes No

14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

15. How tall are you?
Are you above this line? Yes No

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

17. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
Yes No

19. How does this problem make you feel?

20. Tell me about your childhood.

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes No

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes